As therapists, my husband Pablo and I are familiar with the journey of self-discovery. We guide our clients through life’s obstacles, helping them reconnect with themselves and their relationships. But we know from personal experience that the journey of self-exploration is never really over—it’s something we continue to pursue within our own lives.
When we were children, both Pablo and I experienced feelings of loneliness and insecurity. My father left when I was young, and my mother was busy providing for us as a single parent. Alone and longing for connection, I turned to my father’s old books in the basement, many of which focused on alchemy and witchcraft. I became fascinated by witches, casting love spells to feel a sense of control over my life and bring back a feeling of belonging. In psychology, the “witch” archetype often represents power, independence, and transformation—qualities that felt elusive to me but were empowering to imagine.
Pablo’s childhood was marked by different challenges. He was sent to live with his emotionally unavailable father, and his academic abilities were harshly judged, leading him to believe he wasn’t smart enough to succeed. This deepened his feelings of inadequacy, and for years he distanced himself from his own potential, convinced he was somehow “damaged.”
Every spring or summer, Pablo and I like to plan a weekend getaway. This time, we decided on Boston, with the added bonus of a trip to Salem. Boston represented a world of intellect and history for Pablo, who’d always been fascinated by the Ivy League realm of Harvard. For me, Salem was a childhood dream—a chance to explore a place that I had romanticized since childhood, imagining it haunted by supernatural energy. We saw this trip as a way to connect with our pasts while taking in the sights, but what we needed most was to reconnect with ourselves.
The first day, we set off on a city tour, wandering down Boston’s charming Acorn Street and browsing the shops on Antique Row, savoring the feeling of stepping back in time. Lunch at a renowned seafood restaurant added to the experience, and then we finally arrived at Harvard Square. Pablo was excited, hoping that by walking its historic grounds, he could absorb the energy of greatness. However, the reality didn’t live up to his expectations, leaving him feeling somewhat empty. Harvard’s impressive architecture didn’t fill the more profound sense of validation he sought.
In Salem, I was eager for a night tour of the infamous Witch Trials sites, but exhaustion had set in by the time we arrived, and I was tempted to skip it. Yet, remembering my childhood fascination, I pushed myself to go. The experience was less about witches and more about the brutal history of people persecuted by their communities. It was unsettling to realize that these so-called witches weren’t influential figures; they were victims, much like the vulnerable girl I once was. I’d spent years identifying with the idea of a “witch” as a powerful, mystical figure, but the reality was more complex, and this revelation shook me.
The following day, as I wandered Boston Common alone, I reflected on this disappointment. I thought about the women condemned during the Witch Trials and realized that, like them, I had felt powerless as a child. This trip helped me see that I didn’t need a magical solution to be loved or feel safe—I had the strength within me all along. Later, Pablo and I found inspiration in the Boston Public Library, where the inscriptions about knowledge and liberty spoke to us. Pablo shared that he had internalized a false belief about his intelligence, which therapy later helped him uncover and dismantle. He realized that his poor academic performance wasn’t due to a lack of intelligence but rather the chaos of his childhood.
Therapy has been a crucial tool for both of us, helping us confront these wounds and reframe our self-perceptions. Over time, it allowed us to develop a sense of self-acceptance and resilience. Therapy acts as a mirror, helping us recognize limiting beliefs and behaviours rooted in past trauma. For both Pablo and me, it was through therapy that we found healing and the courage to rewrite our stories.
Returning home, we felt more grounded in ourselves and our relationship. We had ventured to Boston and Salem, seeking inspiration from the past, but the real journey was inward. Through reflecting on our childhood dreams and confronting the realities behind them, we released old insecurities and gained a renewed sense of self-worth. The experience reminded us that, while our destination might have been a historic city, the most transformative journey is always the one within.
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